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Archive for the ‘My journey’ Category

If anyone is still following my blog – doubt it since I haven’t blogged in forever, but what the heck. I started a new blog over on blogspot, got a domain name and all, lol. Thought it would motivate me with my running. Anyhow, here’s the link to the new blog – http://www.wannaberunningmama.com/

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Here goes, putting it out there.  This has been a very sh*tty week for me.  Excuse the bad language, not my usual style, but oh well.  A week ago Friday I confirmed that I was pregnant.  I was pretty sure that I was as I had been throwing up for 2 days and hubby and I had opened the door on the possibility post marathon.  Tuesday my symptoms were easing up and I just wasn’t feeling quite right so I took another home test to try and figure out what was up.  The tests started flipping between positive and negative, quite weird so I called my doctor who ordered some blood work.  Blood work confirmed that yes I was pregnant, but my blood levels were not looking good.  Thursday went up for a follow up and beta numbers went from 15 to 18. (Not good)  I thought for sure I would start to miscarry right there with numbers that low, but nope I didn’t.  So I was instructed that this was not a viable pregnancy which I kind of knew, but had been hoping that I had just had a slow start.  I was told to recheck on Monday to make sure my numbers were going down appropriately and that I would probably pass things over the weekend.  I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom and hollered for hubby since I was all of a sudden feeling like total crap and passed out on the toilet.  Pretty site – not.  According to dh I passed out twice and actually had my eyes open when I passed out.  Kind of freaky.  Headed up to the ER from there just to rule out any chance of an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy or any other weird things else that could be going on.  Doctors again confirmed pregnancy with blood work.  Numbers still sitting at 18.  For those that don’t know anything about pregnancy HCG levels they should double every 48 hours.  Mine very clearly are no where close to doubling.  They found a small clot on ultrasound and confirmed it wasn’t in my tubes.  I got an IV and am home now recovering.  I still have not completed miscarriage and have been very sad most of the week.  I am all cried out at the moment.  I wasn’t sure whether I felt like sharing this with the general public because not up to hearing any idiots opinion on how many children I have.  I have good kids.  They are well taken care of.  I have a wonderful husband and a good marriage.  I may gripe about him, but hell that’s marriage.  Everyone does it.   Anyhow, this is reason number 1 why my running has been so dismal  the last few weeks.  I just hadn’t been up to sharing what’s up with me.  I still feel quite crappy and am quite woozy so going to be taking it easy for a few days.  I go back Monday to make sure my numbers are dropping.  I’ll worry about fitness on another day.

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I have been so super crazy since school started back for my kids.  I have kids doing things 3 nights a week. It’s very important for me for my kids to be active.  I don’t want them to grow up sedentary and I’d love for them to find a love for a sport or active lifestyle.  My girls take Irish dance and believe me if you’ve never seen it that is quite the workout.  I am actually taking adult classes this year.  It’s been kind of fun for this two left feet kind of girl.  Five of my six kids are taking swimming classes.  None of them can swim well and I put that off entirely too long.  And then four are taking gymnastics.  Yes, I am crazy!  I have also been having to go up to my teenager’s school at lunch time to stand over Mr. Irresponsible (one of my diabetic children) and make sure he is actually checking his blood sugar and counting the carbohydrates in his lunch and calculating his insulin dosage correctly.  Him and I got in a huge fight after seeing his numbers in the 500-600 range.  (They should be between 80-120.)  He was going days on end without even checking his blood sugar.  That and doing things like trying to double up his insulin so he could skip a dose.  Just plain stupid.  He’s still being quite the jerk to be around. I am not real happy with him anyhow.

Now, as for me.  I got in a decent workout today.  I won’t say great, but okay.  I have been hit and miss with my running and I can tell it. I ran for 2 miles and walked half a mile. I am going to try and get in a second run today if I can or I may just walk this evening.  I got a couple new fitness dvds in too that I want to try.  I’ll be saving those for next week.  I am hoping to blog every day next week and hopefully that’ll get me back in a rhythm again.  Sorry I’ve been such the slacker.

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I am still alive!

Sorry so long from blogging. Things have been a little crazy here and I was in a bit of a funk post marathon.  First off I couldn’t walk for 3 days after the race, wasn’t expecting that.  Then we were on vacation.  I didn’t get to run the whole time I was on vacation.  Well, I got in like one 3 mile run and one 2 mile run during those 2 weeks.  Then coming back didn’t pull myself together and just kind of did nothing.  I just didn’t feel like it.  I think the break honestly was probably a good thing, but my horrible eating during my vacation was not.  I think all I did was eat.  I gained about 10 pounds.  I am working the weight off now and starting to feel back on track.  I went on a 5 mile run yesterday and right now having essentially taken a whole month off running 5 miles is somewhat hard again.

New goals

Well, one of the reasons I have been struggling to stay on track is because I have no goals in front of me.  Here are some new short term goals I have made.  I decided to spend from now until the end of the year really working on my speed (and building back up my base mileage too, but focusing on improving my speed).  I did no speed work really or hill work training for my marathon because I was so focused on being able to run the distance.  Now, I want to see if I can actually start running faster.  I signed up for 2 5Ks and I’d like to find one more 5K to run and maybe a 10K before the end of the year.  One 5K is next weekend and then the other one is 2 weeks from then on Oct 3.  I’d like to see if I can get my 5K time below 27 minutes before the end o the year.  Right now my fastest 5K time is 28:28 so I think if I really start focusing on speed I can reach that goal.  We’ll think about marathon training next year, not committing to when next year yet, but I’d like to run another marathon by the end of next year.

Swimming and weight training

I am going to try to give the whole swimming thing another go.  I tried to take up swimming during my race training, but just didn’t have the time or energy.  I am going to try again to add it into my schedule.  I dropped down to 2 days a week with my trainer.  I can’t justify the expense for 3 days and may phase him out all together this year, but we’ll see.  I really do like him as a trainer, but not sure that I need it and it’s money that could be spent better.  I am going to try to add in 1-2 days weight training on my own.  Once I can see that I can stick to it on my own then I will decide what to do with my trainer. He’s been a nice safety net and a nice guy and really helped me to see progress so we’ll just have to wait and see.  I want to be able to do the “Pump and Run” race they have around here this year.  I wanted to do it this year, but couldn’t lift the weight required to do it so this year I want to set that as as goal as well.

Anyhow, life is good.  Kids are back in school and I am regaining my sanity so hopefully I’ll be back around regularly again.

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Really quick update

Only have a second to type, but in Pennsylvania now.  There are tons and tons of hills so really nervous again.  I am sitting in the McDonalds and don’t have time to type, but wanted to let everyone know I am alive and well.  I have so much to type up after this race!  Wish me luck!  Don’t have any idea how I will do.  Just hoping to finish at this point.

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Okay, I will tell you this guy was one of my big inspirations for running a marathon. I read his book (well I haven’t finished it yet), but he’s just awesome. He ran 52 marathons in one year. Yes, that is one a week. Well, he’s been nominated for the Energizer Keep Going Hall of Fame. If he wins $5000 goes to the charity of his choice. So I told him I’d plug him over on my usual spots. (He’s also the race director of the marathon I’m running in August.)

Anyway here’s a link to vote 2009 Finalist

His name is Dane Rauschenberg.  Here’s a link to his blog as well if your looking for motivation and I highly recommend his book.  It’ll motivate anybody.

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Today’s lolly gagging

Well, I did get in my 8 miles yesterday so yay me and my headache did eventually go away.  I wound up taking 4 excedrin migraine and 2 actifed before all was said and done.  The actifed surprisingly did not affect my running in a bad way yesterday, but today’s run is a different story.  I woke up at 6am when hubby called and was planning to run, but was so tired from the actifed that I set the alarm clock and went back to sleep until 6:45.  I got up with that alarm, ate breakfast, and made a cup of coffee.  I surfed the web for a few minutes while I waited for my stomach to digest and then was literally falling asleep at the keyboard.  I decided to go back to bed again and try the running later.  I didn’t wake up until 11 which is crazy late for me!  Even on Saturdays I don’t sleep that late.  I do wish I had got my run in earlier, but I will get it in this afternoon.  I am more determined than ever to do well in this marathon.  I have no goals of winning any medals or anything, but I would like to do a little better than “good for your first marathon, or good for having 6 kids”.  I still am in awe at all the fast people and trying to figure out how to get to there from here, but one thing at a time.  I’m working on where I am at and trying to make reasonable goals for me.

I am really happy to say my diet/eating has been so much better.  I have been eating healthy, no junk, and no binges.  I haven’t been as obsessive.  My weight is staying about the same.  Sure, I’d love to lose a little more, but right now my focus is on training.

After waking up from my 7 hour nap, well not 7 hours, but anyhow, I spent the last couple hours doing absolutely nothing productive as well. I spent the afternoon looking for new music for my ipod and surfing the web looking for inspiration. I’m planning to get my run in this afternoon when hubby is home.

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