Oh my goodness, I can’t believe this has started already. Well, let’s hope if I write this all down this will help me some day or maybe help someone else or maybe give me something to laugh at or reflect upon later down the road. I have been giddy and anxious all day. Excited a lot that wow! I registered. I am really going to do it. Nervous, but not really about failing. I am honestly not worried about that. I’m just worried about working through all the anxiety between now and then. And you want to hear something even more idiotic. I’m not really nervous about the marathon. For whatever reason that one is not intimidating me, but the half marathon is. You see, I do not like crowds, I do not like massages, I do not like people invading my personal space and this race I suspect will be much more crowded than the marathon. I also do not like doing things by myself. The by myself thing I relate to having an identical twin. It took me a long time and I (well actually both my sister and I) have problems with doing things alone. Of course, not sure how that works in with the crowds fear, but anyhow, it’s my phobia. The half marathon has a full marathon, a 5K and a 10K so I suspect there will be a decent amount of crowds. Now, here’s where the fear comes in. I am sitting here worried about not doing well on the half marathon and that throwing off my confidence for the full one. Or two, chickening out of the half marathon and that throwing me off for the full one. Three, making excuses not to do that one since I know I have the full marathon to fall back on. Now see, all of that is ridiculous, but here it is running through my mind just the same.
And while I am on the topic of ridiculous let’s cover hydration. I am still trying to figure out what I want to use for a hydration system. I bought one of those fuel belts and didn’t like all those bottles jostling around every where. I was doing loops so that I could just keep water bottles at the end of my drive, but that’s not really working for me real well either. I honestly don’t like to drink any more water than I have to while I am running because um, I’ve had six kids and my bladder does not work real well. That being said, no way am I going to train for a full marathon without water. I can do 10 miles without it, but it is still really cool here and I am not sweating very much. So I am thinking of getting one of those Camelbaks, but I am sitting here worried about people staring at me while I run. Now what the heck is wrong with me on that one? Who the heck cares if people stare at me right? But there you go, another irrational fear. Well, I’m going to try to tackle this one today and order me one of those Camelbaks. Hopefully I can find one in pink so I can be cool.
First off, CONGRATULATIONS!! Registering is such a huge step! You ARE going to do this!!! Woo Hoo!!
As for your fears? I think those would be my same fears. I know physically training for it would be well thought through and I would be prepared physically. It’s mentally. (I don’t do well alone either, and I was an only child for 7 years before my kid sister came along…)
I have the same fear with those camelbaks too! *lol* (Although when I start running; I’m buying one anyway…) I think they are the best option.
Glad to know I’m not the only weird one with strange fears.
Good for you for registering for a marathon, that is excellent. I too don’t like crowds and have to keep my anxiety in check with things like that. But looking in from the outside you seem like a very determined person that can accomplish anything you set your mind to so I am sure you will be able to get your mind around it and do great.
I like to tell myself that. Even if I am not as determined as I like to say I am, then at least by saying it I reinforce it in my brain.
I think a camelback makes the most sense. I don’t understand why anybody would stare at you because of it.
I did say it was an irrational fear. I do realize it’s not a rational thought, but that doesn’t stop me from having them. I ordered one yesterday, so that one was easy to get over.